Friendship is a funny thing, it's something we're taught all our lives subconsciously. Learn to share, learn to love, learn to make friends. We're taught to build relationships with others, this is supposed to make us more empathetic, more successful, more loving, more sociable. The more friends you have, the happier you are. I've learned otherwise. The less you have, the happier you are or should I say, the less negative people you surround yourself with the happier you are .
I wrote this poem a few years ago, after realizing friendships do not always mean the same to everyone.
Lately, I’ve not had much to say;
My words have been few and far between
And everyone is looking for inspiration from me, like a beak of sunlight on a rainy day.
Only to be disappointed with a lack of what I have to say.
I’ve said everything my loves,
My pencil led is running out.
And all of the people I used to run to are now just running mouths
Spreading lies, sprinkled with truths, showing the world every inch of their youth
attempting to smear character.
Allowing whatever four letter verb they felt for me, to be dictated by the fact that I’m not there enough.
And I make no apologies for the distance I’ve placed between myself and you…
Because, whether you’d like to admit it or not, you’ve placed a distance there too
I guess, as of lately my words haven’t been meaning that much.
I’ve been putting so much action behind them
I’m feeling out of touch
I write sentence on sentence, of things I’ve already accomplished
Sharing less and less information with my “so-called” accomplice
See, I’ve worked it out in my head that, I don’t really need that many people
And I find myself going back and reminiscing on when I was little
Like, I didn’t have much of anybody
but my pencil and paper
So, why am I so intent on adding to my foundation when all along I’ve had the staple?
I've always wanted to be some type of inspiration for others; an inspiration I was searching for on days when it was hard to get out of bed. I've lost so many people to losing themselves, or better yet maybe finding who they truly were. I wouldn't change a thing. I've been spending more time doing the things that make me happy and less of what doesn't involve my happiness. I've been searching for an answer or some type of support from my peers and realized that is not where I will find it. Sometimes, the most support you are going to get will come from people you have never met and that is okay.
So, what does a friendship consist of? Supporting those who support you or just finding friends to share a good story over a bottle of wine with? There has to be more than that to a friendship, I'm sure of it. Are your friend's the people who encourage you to get out of bed when you want to stay there or are your friend's the people who come over and make sure you get out of it? I like to consider myself an amazing friend. I'm sure some people may disagree, but we're all adults. So, what is the making of a good friend? I may not know surely how to spot it in others, but I know how to spot it in myself and how to remain true to that.
What do you consider a true friend?