Today, I acknowledged something I had been looking over for some time now.
jeal·ous - ˈjeləs/ (adj.) feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.
Jealousy - let's talk about jealousy. What is jealousy to you? Most of the time I hear, well I'm prettier than this person or I make more money. I'm smarter, I'm in better shape, I have longer hair, I drive a newer model car, I have more freedom, I have the ability to do things they can't. This person likes me more than they like them, I got the job they wanted, I slept with whomever they liked and the list goes on...
Rarely, do I hear that jealousy has to do with the way people love you. Seldom, do I hear people are jealous because the heart a person possesses or the character, their charisma, their willingness to persevere through obstacles in their lives. Today, out of twenty five years on this Earth, it hit me. The majority of what I've witnessed and experienced were not the materialistic things people reflected their jealousy on but the intangible things that they wish they could get.
I realized that most of my life had been saturated with people who were jealous of the way other people loved me. People who were jealous of the fact that I could overcome obstacles that would have torn them apart, people who pretended to be praying for me but were preying on me. You hear me, sis? Pretending to be praying for me, but we're preying on me.
I had unknowingly surrounded myself with people who had no good intentions for me. They were just eager to find out how and why people were loving me the way they were. How I was overcoming so much, how I continued to keep a smile on my face while things were coming apart around me. How did I get there? How did I not see it before? It was like an epiphany.
Why were there so many people in my circle who weren't in my corner? Why were there so many people who wanted to sabotage relationships I had with other people? They didn't understand why they could love me as they did and not feel the same about them. It hit me like a ton of bricks, a light bulb went off, a boulder fell on my chest. This had always been the case for so many people I allowed in my life. They were just there to observe. I had done this to myself. I had family like this, friends, relationships, I'd seen it before. Beware of the people who serve no purpose in your life but to just try and find out why others flock to you. Steer clear of people whom are in your circle but not in your corner, the people who don't clap when you succeed. The people who criticize every move you make. Recognize the faces of those who pretend to love you but are truly snakes in the grass. Acknowledge the people who hurt you but don't apologize. The people who try to make your feelings invalid with excuses, a great friend of mine once said pray for discernment and accept what people show you rather than what they tell you and I have asked God for that ever since.
What are some characteristics you possess that you think make people jealous? Tell me in the comments.