A few years ago, I wrote about the chronicles of the women from the fatherless tribe. We are always hearing about fathers not being apart of their children's lives, more than we hear about the women who are apart of the motherless tribe. It may be less common but we are definitely here, whether it be due to losing a mother to death, sickness, career, inability to be a mother, or those of us who grew up without a figure we considered a mother. Being a part of these tribes teach you lessons you may have never learned had you not been from them. A few lessons I learned that I didn't appreciate until I got older are listed below:
- Resiliency (adj.) - (of a person or animal) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. - Discernment (noun.) - the ability to judge well. - Empathy (noun.) - ability to understand and share the feelings of another.When I was younger, I didn't acknowledge the gift I had been given by being apart of the motherless tribe. I didn't understand why I was chosen to be apart of a group I wanted no parts of; I didn't understand why so many of my friends had relationships with mother's I could have only dreamed to have. Life had thrown me so many curve balls, I should have been a baseball player. I had taken so many different paths, I should probably own stock in some automobile company. I have learned that even playing the best hand with the cards you are dealt may not always guarantee you a full house. I learn a lesson each time. I always recover. I am always moving forward to something better. I am always making a mental note on how to not make the same mistake twice. I am always looking for a lesson in each mistake. I don't trust people easily, I try to weed out the people who don't mean me well and although, I'm not always the best at it. I've done pretty well thus far. I am constantly, putting myself in another person's shoes and simulating how they would feel. I had taught myself that this is and how life was and how it would continue to be. Then one day, it hit me. All the while, I was envying the relationships my friends had with their mothers and focusing on not having a birth mother, I had something much better. I had a mother who wanted a child as much as I wanted a mother. I had a woman who taught me resiliency, empathy and discernment. I had a woman who taught me to be self-aware, who taught me that there is a lesson in each and every mistake I would make. I had a woman who loved me unconditionally, no matter the mistakes I would make, even if I didn't learn from them. I had this amazing, powerful, strong, intelligent mother the entire time. Often times, we are so focused on what we don't have, that we aren't paying attention to things that are right in front of us. A lot of us have these same mother figures and we don't acknowledge it as we should. There are women who are mothers that surround all of us, you just have to take a deeper look. -- The Woman from the Motherless Tribe.